Not the Onion: Grand Game Self Service!
Grand Game Time! Smart people do it in the comment section...
Brazilian woman wins legal "right" to surf porn and masturbate at work.
Excerpt: Ana Catarian Bezerra, 36, suffers from severe anxiety and hypersexuality - something that makes her "compulsion orgasmic," reports Gather.com.
A single mother of three children, Bezerra works as an accountant - a seemingly buttoned-up profession for such a buttoned-down condition, reports Guanabee.com.
In the past, Bezerra would need to masturbate as much as 47 times a day. Her physician, Carlos Howert, has prescribed her a "cocktail" of tranquilizers to help curb her condition. Now she only has to masturbate around 18 times a day, according to Guanabee. One word? Yikes.
Bezerra had to take her employer to court last April, where she won. Now, she will get 15 minute breaks every 2 hours where she can surf porn and get her release, AOL reports.
Don't get too excited though - remember that this is in Brazil, and here in the U.S. there are no court-mandated masturbation breaks available.
This would have been excellent news for Anonyman. He was laid off for three months a while back. Turns out that in Brazil his activities during this time would have counted as "employment," and he could have gotten paid for it. Now THAT is progress!